#vaudeville mirror

[tuttle-did-it]

Please enjoy the best version of the vaudeville Mirror skit. Lucille Ball and Harpo Marx are incredible in this scene. From the episode ‘Harpo Marx,’ of I Love Lucy. Aired 9 May 1955.

The Lucy/Harpo skit was inspired by the famous scene from Duck Soup (1933) with Groucho Marx and Harpo Marx.

Aside from the Vaudeville skits on stage, the Groucho Duck Soup routine was inspired by this skit in The Marathon (1919) with Harold Lloyd.

Honourable mention goes to this X Files episode ‘Dreamland’ with David Duchovny and the incredible Michael McKean airing 29 Nov 1998.

[tiredsuitguy]

POV: you have to explain to your boss why you're forty minutes late (didn't wanna- also there was a dog on the walk to the bus stop and also there was a blackberry bush and also the bus was late and also didn't wanna and also)

[tmntaucompetition]

List of all AUs that got into the preliminary round!!

Snapdragon - bluesgras

But First They Must Catch You - mudlarkspur (+ao3)

Sorry I’m Late - GeminiForest

Lone Turtle and Hunter - midnightcreator12 (+ao3)

Happily Ever After - Phykoha

Kendratello Childhood AU - zeawesomeness

The Mutation Situation - Indieyuuugre

Quilt AU - Cokowee

I’m sorry teenage mutant what now? - tangledinink

Good Genes - lordshroom

Twin-Sync (More than you Think) - little-banjo-frog

Mama’s Boys - honey_rye

Warrior’s Heart - peanutrat20

Rabbit’s Broach - pigeonsgrame2

UPRISING: A Rise Dystopia AU - alexthenerdbird

Down with the Stockholm - devotedtosadpoetry

Broken Trifecta - genderfluid-envy

TMNT Chicago Style - its-captain-sir

Tiz Sep AU - Tizline

Please Don’t Leave I Need You - TownFowl (ao3)

Sewer Punks - kettle-bird

Grown Apart - Chiscribbs

Leaves from the Vine - Cheetochild989

TMNT Shen and the League of Lesbians - genderfluid-envy

The Unicorn paradox - Mushangaa

Snapper Lou AU - Kittynomore

Sep Leo AU - dianagj-art

The Rise Hunger Games AU - daboyau

Honor Bound - terrazooid

Universes - XxLea_nardoxX

Minecraft Isekai - Songdrop/Caleb at calebscornerofart

Raised by the Capybara AU - Rubies-tmnt-aus

Dee-Evolution AU - cnwolf-brainrot

Welcome to Mutinis - mutiniau

Portal Baby - QuarterGremlins

Wouldn’t It Be Easier - 14Muffinz (+ao3)

Twinpathy - twinpathy

Live Life - centerofleesmind

August’s AU - star-sparkler

No Fun in Fungus - boots-with-the-fur-club

At my Worst - teainthesnow (+ao3)

Ktech - dontfindmeimscared

Camp Hamato - P0t3n1al

Even more of a Disaster - 3lectricinsomnia and teaableu (main blog evenmoreofadisaster)

No Crime only Brooches - Olliethescribe (+ao3)

DNAngel - blye-flower

Finding home - sad-leon

Causa scienta - urlocalllama (ao3)

TMNT 04 - koolaidashley

Is this right? - cruitly-ink

Turtles all the way down - pommigranite

Firefight au - remedyturtles (remrose - ao3)

Death wish - remedyturtles (remrose - ao3)

Ghost AU - Melliedoodles

Mama’s Wishes - Bucketofbugz

Forgive Me - reagi-df

Eclipse - G0LD_Tea (Twitter)

Magic AU - vaudeville-moggie

Mitosis - Varian_dislikes_cheese (ao3)

Vengeance is yours - that-one-dork (+ao3)

The likeness of mirrored souls - enthblaze and omgselinabeckendorf

The employees - theemployees

Hello, Clairvoyant? - cogentsummonor (ao3)

Sidelined au - Dandylovesturtles

100 feet and a world away - Dandylovesturtles

Villain leo - Villianleoau

Bloom from oblivion - Aliteraladhdmess

Soulmates (evil) - error-core-animations (Oofiescreams - ao3)

The somber sunrise - Mocha_Mochaccino (ao3)

Snapdonnie - onejellyfishplease

Ōnryo leo - aquariumgirls (ao3)

Lost in the pink mist - lost-in-the-pink-mist

The Lonely Buzz in Blue - overthinkingbluesparks (+ao3)

The Blood Orange Multiverse - Jade-Clementine (Mylenapony11 + Cherry-blossom-consumer)

Teenage turtle ninja mutants - idiot-mushroom

Revelations Timeline AU - idk_im_just_here_now (ao3)

Two Souls - virgilsspidey (+ao3)

(Please let me know if there’s a duplicate or a creator spelled wrong!)

[nat-20s]

Seen people describe The Doctor and Donna's relationship as a sibling dynamic but I think that's only true for some Doctors with Donna so here's a definitive list of which nuwhodoctordonna pairs are and aren't siblings:

NineDonna: No. They are randomly assigned roommates that become the most annoying best friends in the world. Literally the worst fucking people in existence to third wheel for, you're in a constant state of "what the FUCK are you two talking about???"

TenDonna: No. Something much weirder going on for them. I once saw someone describe them as "whatever dr doofensmirtz and perry have going on but platonic" and that's lived in my head rent free ever since. Yes Ten WOULD physically strap Donna to himself in order to confront his parents and then when it went poorly they would watch the sunset and he would tell her that she was his rock. Also very gay best friend and woman on another one of their little adventures/ a lesbian and her favorite himbo. Who's the gay best friend/woman/lesbian/himbo changes on a whim <3 Truly the icons of sticking two freak bi people with unfettered adhd together and seeing what happens

ElevenDonna: okay Yes. that is her little brother that's like 30 times older than her and she is treating him accordingly. (so so so mean but will also kick people in the shins for being nasty to him)

TwelveDonna: Sort of. Less your typical sibling dynamic and more like stepsiblings that only became stepsiblings well into their 30s and have decided to unionize. In another life they would've been a vaudeville duo that are also conmen.

ThirteenDonna: No. Not a single soul knows whatever the fuck those two have going on between them, least of all them. Probably like. The somewhat healthier mirror version of whatever the fuck The Doctor and Spymaster have going on. One time 13 sighs oh so sadly and is like "i wish i could be donna's lap dog" and when the master asks, "Like in a horny way, or???" Thirteen replies, "I don't know I just think if Donna could carry me around everywhere life would be significantly better and I could have an easier time seeing beauty in the universe again." and the master is like. "have you maybe considered prozac" and the doctor says "WELL I WOULDN'T NEED PROZAC IF I WAS DONNA'S LAP DOG NOW WOULD I??"

FourteenDonna: no. QUEER PLATONIC SPOUSES OF ALL FUCKING TIIIIMMMMEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

FifteenDonna: Not quite. I think they more have the vibe of like cousins that go to family functions and always seek each other out bc they have a mutual case of "you're the only bitch in this room that I respect. You're the only motherfucker in this house that can handle me." Both of them volunteer to "chaperone" the kids table bc if Donna has to hear one more word from their uncle who won't shut up about how great brexit is she's shoving his face in the mashed potatoes and fifteen is just going to be like "you're doing amazing sweetie"

[allyssl]

TMNT AU Comp Preliminary Links

this is long

@tmntaucompetition

Snapdragon - bluesgras

But First They Must Catch You - mudlarkspur (+ao3)

Sorry I’m Late - GeminiForest

Lone Turtle and Hunter - midnightcreator12 (+ao3)

Happily Ever After - Phykoha

Kendratello Childhood AU - zeawesomeness

The Mutation Situation - Indieyuugre

Quilt AU - Cokoweee

I’m sorry teenage mutant what now? - tangledinink

Good Genes - lordshroom

Twin-Sync (More than you Think) - little-banjo-frog

Mama’s Boys - honey_rye

Warrior’s Heart - peanutrat20

Rabbit’s Broach - pigeonsgrame2

UPRISING: A Rise Dystopia AU - alexthenerdbird

Down with the Stockholm - devotedtosadpoetry

Broken Trifecta - genderfluid-envy

TMNT Chicago Style - its-captain-sir

Tiz Sep AU - Tizeline

Please Don’t Leave I Need You - fowlaroundtown (ao3)

Sewer Punks - kettle-bird

Grown Apart - Chiscribbs

Leaves from the Vine - Cheetochild989

TMNT Shen and the League of Lesbians - genderfluid-envy

The Unicorn paradox - Mushangaa

Snapper Lou AU - Kittynomore

Sep Leo AU - dianagj-art

The Rise Hunger Games AU - daboyau

Honor Bound - terrazooid

Universes - XxLea-nardoxX

Minecraft Isekai - Songdrop/Caleb at calebscornerofart

Raised by the Capybara AU - Rubies-tmnt-aus

Dee-Evolution AU - cnwolf-brainrot

Welcome to Mutinis - mutiniau (ao3)

Portal Baby - QuarterGremlin

Wouldn’t It Be Easier - 14Muffinz (+ao3)

Twinpathy - twinpathy

Live Life - centerofleesmind

August’s AU - star-sparkler

No Fun in Fungus - boots-with-the-fur-club

At my Worst - teainthesnow (+ao3)

Ktech - dontfindmeimscared

Camp Hamato - P0t3n1al

Even more of a Disaster - 3lectricinsomnia and teaableu (main blog evenmoreofadisaster)

No Crime only Brooches - Olliethescribe (+ao3)

DNAngel - blye-flower

Finding home - sad-leon

Causa scienta - urlocalllama (ao3)

TMNT 04 - koolaidashley

Is this right? - cruitly-ink

Turtles all the way down - pommigranite

Firefight au - remedyturtles (remrose - ao3)

Death wish - remedyturtles (remrose - ao3)

Ghost AU - Melliedoodles

Mama’s Wishes - Bucketofbugz (+askblog)

Forgive Me - reagi-df

Eclipse - G0LD_Tea (Twitter)

Magic AU - vaudeville-moggie

Mitosis - Varian_dislikes_cheese (ao3)

Vengeance is yours - that-one-dork (+ao3)

The likeness of mirrored souls - enthblaze and omgselinabeckendorf

The employees - theemployees

Hello, Clairvoyant? - cogentsummonor (ao3)

Sidelined au - Dandylovesturtles

100 feet and a world away - Dandylovesturtles

Villain leo - Villianleoau

Bloom from oblivion - Aliteraladhdmess

Soulmates (evil) - error-core-animations (Oofiescreams - ao3)

The somber sunrise - xmochaccinox (ao3)

Snapdonnie - onejellyfishplease

Ōnryo leo - aquariumgirls (ao3)

Lost in the pink mist - lost-in-the-pink-mist

The Lonely Buzz in Blue - overthinkingbluesparks (+ao3)

The Blood Orange Multiverse - Jade-Clementine (Mylenapony11 + Cherry-blossom-consumer)

Teenage turtle ninja mutants - idiot-mushroom

Revelations Timeline AU - idk_im_just_here_now (ao3)

Two Souls - virgilsspidey (+ao3)

[hotvintagepoll]

Marie Dressler (Dinner at Eight, Tillie's Punctured Romance, Anna Christie)—SHE WAS SO SCRUNGLY. A vaudeville star who didn't hit it big in Hollywood until she was in her 60s. She had the most delightfully expressively scrunched facial expressions and often looked goofy and manic as an old lady while STILL stealing the show from her hot young costars.

Robert Walker (Strangers on a Train, The Clock, One Touch of Venus)—I think his performance as Bruno Anthony (Strangers on a Train) alone should qualify him as a contender. Riding carousels, strangling people at parties, his funky robe, popping some little kid's balloon, munching on popcorn, obsessing over his manicure, having his tied fixed by Farley Granger? Poetic cinema. Who else could pull off "murderous little weirdo" so well? Then in Song of Love he's like THE sweetest guy, being helpful in the kitchen, looking after a flock of children, mooning over Katharine Hepburn, playing the piano—he has the RANGE, darling—I LOVE how distressed his characters look in war movies, he's always just some little guy thrown among the horrors. He plays such lovesick puppy boys who trip over their own two feet. The "busted heel" scene in The Clock. The dream sequence in Her Highness and the Bellboy (regrettably can't find it). If F.R.I.E.N.D.S had come out in the 40s I am convinced he'd have played Chandler (arguably the scrungliest of the cast) but I haven't the faintest idea why my brain came up with this. He possessed the . . . special brand of rebel/misfit sensitivity and charm . . . His boyish good looks combined with an attractive vulnerability came across the screen with such beauty, power and naturalness. He went quite far in his short life; however, the many tortured souls he played so brilliantly closely mirrored the actor himself and the demons that haunted his own being wasted no time in taking him down a self-destructive path for which there was no return.

This is round 1 of the contest. All other polls in this bracket can be found here. If you're confused on what a scrungle is, or any of the rules of the contest, click here.

[additional submitted propaganda + scrungly videos under the cut]

Marie Dressler:

playing a formerly glamorous stage actress, marie dressler EATS

Robert Walker:

[goblins-riddles-or-frocks]

Reverse unpopular opinion: sequel to phantom of the Opera? :)

The thing is! Love Never Dies is genuinely so delightful to me. I take great joy in awful things and that show is SO fucking funny

The way there is a seven minute impassioned duet about how Erik and Christine fucked raw in a fucking field ten years ago like two days before her wedding or something. Girlie was legit about to leave Raoul because the 60 yo virgin dick was apparently that good (doubt!) like forget about the murders and the threats, who even cares about that!

Erik being introduced in the London production with a fully automated Christine sex bot that SOMEONE at RUG I assume must have finally noted was too fucking creepy and just NOT conveying the same gothic tone as the mirror bride so they just switched it out for a portrait he can cry at? The fact that Erik, thee Phantom of the Opera, the great virtuoso, apparently spends his time writing vaudeville hits like Bathing Beauty.

“Give me the gun, Meg” as a fully serious line at the climactic sequence. Trying to talk Meg out of fucking killing herself and then ending it with “We can’t all be like Christine” because that’s totally going to be taken well.

I have this musical memorized. I am not kidding.

If I’m not allowed to talk about the “so bad, it’s good” elements though, the music is genuinely fun, I really like the arrangements. I like how the Melbourne production balanced a few callbacks to Phantom in a few of the songs.

The art nouveau revolving stage design goes really hard! The costumes are also great! Christine’s costumes are also great! Of the music, I genuinely like Devil Take the Hindmost a lot. And uh… I forget whatever Meg’s sad song about the sea is called. But I sincerely like that one too. The libretto genuinely excels at passive aggressive group numbers. Dear Old Friends is very clever and biting! So is uhh the song Madame Giry sings early on at Erik where she’s like WHILE YOU WERE FUCKING AROUND IN SIDESHOWS I WAS HOLDING DOWN THE FORT

It’s such a stupid fucking musical. I love inflicting it on unsuspecting friends who like Phantom

Send me a topic and I’ll have to say something good about it! No hating allowed!

[jack-kellys]

notes from december performance post-previews that i somehow just wrote up last night in august 2023 whattt how did that happennn:

the way jack replies to “you’re seeing stars alright” feels way more in response to crutchie’s attitude- and when he talks abt his dad getting stomped on it’s not just a context reveal. it’s jack telling crutchie he’s self-aware, he understands his shit place in the world and his desire to change it. just that it’s nice to dream. ow

“time for dreaming’s done” isn’t said with a smile. btw. if u even care

jack stealing finch’s mirror gets me every time

katherine looks back at jack at his “im crushed!” with a little smile

i get that the only reason buttons helps with a lot of the tricks is because he’s the DC but that doesn’t make it any less sweet… he’s always with splasher lmao

jack is quite uncomfortable with the nuns, he doesn’t look at any of them

never ever over spalsher’s little head tilt after his big flip

oscar grabs race’s collar on “i guess he didn’t take care of me!”

morris goes to hit crutchie again after pushing him to the ground before jack stops him

love when race bounces on his toes when he thinks he says something funny

morris blows his cig smoke into davey’s face when he’s grabbing him the extra paper

henry imitates les with finch as his davey, hobbling up to weasel down on his knees

jack rolls his eyes after telling davey “it’s just business” after shaking les’s hand. like can u believe this guy lmao

“mine taught me not to starve” looking at davey like ‘wtf is wrong with you’ LMAO. like jack’s irked with davey actually judging for something so ingrained into jack’s life fr

“HEY!! who was that guy >:(!”

medda checks on jack’s hair and he giggles mid sentence :) like “mooom in front of my friends??”

kaths look of Disgust when jack goes “i admire smart girls” is soooo done. she’s finished w this mf

katherine stays on the set as it shifts into WWK’s scene, staring at jack’s drawing, totally absorbed. i just think it’s fun how when davey sees jack’s backdrop he’s stunned in the same way kath is at her portrait. anyway

jack goes toward finch during the “our union is hereby formed to watch each other’s backs” after leaving ike and finch sweeeeerves away from him. finch only comes on board when davey does actually

when jack’s on the wagon with the “what if the delanceys come out swinging” etc he does a small laugh when the newsies all yell their response like he’s surprised !!

katherine is positioned right above the world’s door as if she’s. inside. ofc initially we read it as her just observing from above but it’s her literal building too.

“specs, you take queens.” “thank you!”

buttons gives kath a friendly wave and race offers his water cup when katherine comes into jacobi’s. walks right past the water even as race keeps his hand out lmfao

tommy lifts elmer into his arms after kath says they’d make front page

“this is not some little vaudeville im reviewing” felt more significant

“give those kids and me the brand new century and watch what happens” is a Plea.

welliguessitdependsonhowyoulookatitifyoulookandseebrooklynthenthey’rewithushaha! then race guns toward davey to yell at him

davey is not afraid to yell when his nerves get shot —> when the scabs boutta get they shit rocked

“them? or them.” OSCAR WAVES LMFAOOO

piggyback for les from racer

fight time

-morris has it OUT for racer in the pre-cop half. literally think he gets smacked with the bat TWICE. he’s on the ground, watches splasher get smacked from the ground, and BOLTS UP and races over to him shoving past morris. insane

-jack only swings on the rope to make a clear path for davey and les actually bc that action is the only reason they get to that half of the stage

-finch and romeo teammates for LIFE. they fought like the whole thing together fr. only pair that stuck out to me for the whole length of it (and then of course they watch crutchie get taken from the audience ough)

-nah jack Is a good fighter thru this it’s just the seize the day moment w the delanceys that he’s shit at btw

-davey doesn’t fight literally at all the whole time :/ c’mon. uncanonizing this in my mind

-SPECS KICKS ASS !! he’s got a bat and everything!! fuck yeah!!

shut up jack wipes at his eye during santa fe at “guy can catch a break”

^guy who lets out a sigh of relief when the post card is still in his pocket. fuck off

act twooo

kath goes to racer abt where jack might’ve gone and he’s abt to answer before albert pipes up

race flicking davey’s hat to the side>

^also they keep chatting thru tap sequences i love it

kath holding davey’s hand while they talk in the corner during table movement

crutchie holds his side when he sings…

^the only part crutchie gets teary at is when he starts talking abt the boys/family :,)

“and a little something extra, just on account of im gonna miss you so-” sounds like medda broke off bc her voice got watery 🥲

“every newsie—who could walk—was out there selling papes” OW the rephrasing of that line

as soon as jack turns his backdrop around to show the strike painting davey walks away soooo fast to turn away

WWH reprise is such an argument. “WE’RE ALREADY WINNING!!” yell davey yell!!

^jack makes the most fuming, boiling angry face after “y’know why a snake starts to rattle 😌?”

davey initiates the spit shake when jack offers his hand

kath is Mortified watching snyder expose jack’s refuge history AND SHES SO MAD when pulitzer gets between her and jack omfg

“be glad you’re alive, kid” is spoken and cruel asf but wbk

morris’s laugh kills me everytime it’s so fucked in the head. goddamn

jack doesn’t let davey touch him when he enters the rally like he doesn’t want davey to look like he knew abt the betrayal beforehand….

scope runs RIGHT up to jack after spot pushes him and goes to yell at him LMAO… lucky has to drag her away

“is that really what it’s like in there? rats everywhere, and vermin?” is taken as judgement and not concern and jack fuckin jumps on it LMAO

the actual motion of disgust jack makes at “you just double crossed us to your father- your… father.” dead every time he literally flinches

“i just didn’t tell you everything!!” is said at the opposite side of the stage as jack and looking down and away. idk why she’s the only katherine that has ever played this line as guilty but i’m always so glad for it

“i’m not stupid.” “no-” “i know girls like you… don’t wind up with guys.. like me.” heathers voice: i will never shut up abooout this

jack seems very afraid of the word love?? during kath’s entire piece of STBI he stays away from her… and she def thinks she’s fucked up for a sec fr

wah this song is so tender :( they hold each other very softly

“hey! um… it’s good to have ya back.”

clarice’s spot also has a moment with race beside just letting the kids into the cellar together..<3 ik lillie’s has more tho

there is something so personal abt davey jacobs saying “bleeeed ‘eeeem” while looking dead into jack’s eyes

davey’s reckless hug once jack’s made the deal with pulitzer… every timeeee

FINCH CRUTCHIE HUG!! first to get to him and holds him the longest before race and jack come along :)

“new york’s got us. and we’ a family.” is said as such a statement of fact like crutchie just ends any argument right there. he just knows jack so fucking well.

:)

[strangestcase]

My ideas for a League of Extraordinary Gentlemen theatrical musical which will never come to reality:

-based off the movie (if loosely) because the comics would be a pain to adapt

-also the songs would really help hiding the writing issues

-Mina’s actress wears a secret contraption that stretches into bat wings on command, and special makeup that highlights her features under certain types of light- thus allowing her to go Dracula mode onstage. She also gets costumes she can take off in one piece so that as her character develops she gradually ditches a more traditional Victorian getup for a modern, goth outfit.

-the Invisible Man is played by an actor in a bodysuit wearing a removable mask and moving puppet arms around (which represent face makeup and gloves respectively). To become invisible he simply drops them and moves around the stage, as other actors pretend they can’t see him.

-Hyde is a large stage puppet maneuvered by various actors, with Jekyll’s actor moving his face and providing his voice. The transformations consist of Jekyll simply entering or leaving his place in the puppet, the other puppeteers building it up around him or removing key pieces. And the mirror scenes are done with projections and pre-recorded audio.

-Lots of Puppets just. So Many Many Puppets. For the Nautilus for the Phantom’s men for Dante for all that sea life etc

As for the music:

-cheesy intro number on the line of “deviation from the norm will be punished unless its exploitable”

-We need at least one (1) sad song about Mina’s tragic backstory, or rather how she feels about it. Not very good this is.

-she also is given the role of protagonist back

-Jekyll is going to be framed as her love interest through and through btw. Same as Dorian. Tom already has his getting adopted by Allan arc. Literally a YA love triangle but they’re all goth middle aged queens.

-listen this is my idea so I make the rules

-EPIC NEMO THEME -the hunt for Hyde becomes a short but catchy dance sequence.

-The Nautilus is introduced with a HUGE high level song worthy of a Bollywood musical with the aforementioned sea life puppets. Please ignore how incredibly dark the lyrics are.

-YES I KNOW THOSE MOMENTS ARE LITERALLY BACK TO BACK IN THE MOVIE. I’LL FIND A WAY TO SPACE THEM OUT.

-Mina and Dorian MUST have a duet that makes it into Lovers To Enemies To Lovers To Enemies playlists I SWEAR TO GOD.

-Confrontation 2

-Jekyll and Hyde literally have Confrontation 2

-Captain Nemo is going to get a solo song about his past and his motivations and here he should figure out M first, like in the comics (Allan has more of a mentor role / common thread between the other characters)

-Dorian Gray villain song complete with a little dance! A jaunty little gothic vaudeville song that uses his motif (which will sound whenever he’s onstage)

-Moriarty doesn’t dance because he thinks he’s above dancing but he does sing. He also has a villain song but it’s way more serious than Dorian’s

-Allan doesn’t sing a single line until the last song (as he’s dying)

the musical ends with Mina becoming the new leader of the League and getting her final costume change which will include a question mark motif as a nod to the original comics

And then intro number reprise but with a more tongue in cheek cynical tint and a final hopeful note. I need people to come out of the theater as full blown anarchists.

[daigina-3]

Star Dust, Angel Dust

Anthony Donatiello was going to be a star. 

The dark cinema was buzzing. The joint was full of his family and friends- the place rented out just for them. Not that he thought his uncle’s meathead friends or his cousins cared much for motion pictures, unless they were the kiddie vaudeville types. They just didn’t have the taste Anthony did. Molly liked movies all right, but mostly because she knew Anthony did. She did anything he wanted, went where he went, liked what he liked; even if she didn’t, really. 

He sat back in the big seat- his feet just reaching the floor. His frame was slight even at eleven, when most of the other kids his age were sprouting up and out. He was hardly any bigger than Molly was, the two of them identical pointy limbs and round, pinched-cheek faces. Though Ma said he’d hit his growth spurt any day now and be taller than all of them, and be on his way to becomin’ a big man like his papa. 

Anthony wasn’t sure he liked the sound of that. He loved his papa, sure. But when he dreamt of who he would be as an adult, it wasn’t his father’s stubbly jaw line and gruff voice he imagined.

It was Roman Novaro, with his slender frame and shiny hair. It was Colleen Moore and her wire-thin dainty eyebrows and shiny bead-embroidered dresses.

It was Clara Bow. 

On the silver screen, Clara Bow’s big round eyes were pinched in anger as she was waving her cutesy little gun around (He didn’t know what she thought that little thing would do- he’d seen bigger guns in his pop’s bathroom), looking for all the world like she was about to jump out of the ten foot tall screen and into the room. 

Clara was the ultimate star- she had the face, the legs, the smile. She was everything. People called her the “it” girl- on the cover of every magazine, in every department store window on posters for perfume and powder- and always, always with all eyes on her. 

She was an angel.

Anthony had fallen in love with her the first time he’d seen her on screen with her thin painted lips and the way they quirked up in an impish smile. He’d made his mama take him to the cinema to see the movie three times. He practiced that smile in the bathroom mirror every morning for a week. 

Ladies of the Mob had been a funny choice for a family outing, looking back. Not that he’d really known then that the family business was anything more than some vague investment company or something else equally as vague and boring as shit to an eleven year old. He just thought that maybe all investment companies came with family bodyguards who were also his cousins- and also cousins that weren’t really cousins but they called them that anyway. And didn’t every family have weapon stashes in every room of the house? His pops always said protecting his family came first!

Next to him in the dark, Molly elbowed him gently and held out the little bag of popcorn for him to take a handful. Her big blue eyes were still locked on the screen as Clara’s lover, the poor crook who Clara was trying so hard to make a better man, grabbed her by the arms and shook her passionately. Anthony felt the tension rise as their faces got closer together and her lover shook her again, the piano music swelling. The gun fell from Clara’s hand as she stared up at her fella’s furious face.

“Don’t you know I love ya, ya dumb broad?” The title card read. 

Clara shook her head, moving her perfectly painted lips. Anthony mirrored her expression, copying the way she turned down the corners of her mouth.

“Well, you have a mighty good way of showing it.”

He yanked her forward with force until they were just an inch away, his mouth mumbling words that made Anthony’s tummy flip and his eyebrows go up in surprise just the same as Clara’s on screen.

“I’ll show you good.”

He crashed his mouth to Clara’s- Anthony didn’t have to look at his sister to know Molly had clapped one hand over her eyes. She still thought kissing was gross, the little baby. But he didn’t ever want to look away. In the darkness with stars in his little eyes, Anthony puckered his lips, instinctively copying Clara. 

Someone was gonna kiss him like that someday. 

*

“You're gonna be a star, Angel baby.”

That's what Val had told him when they first met in the corner of a hazy strip club. The moth demon had paid for private dances at the club, rented out rooms for days just to monopolize Angel's time and attention. And Angel took the compliment and the cash, batted his lashes and let Val flash even more bills than the day before or the day before. He was buying bottle after bottle without care. Hell, he was practically pouring the shit out on the floor. What did Val care? He could buy the whole bottling plant if he wanted. He had money, he had power, he had people falling at his feet.

So who could blame Angel if he fell, too?

Well. He sure as fuck could blame himself. He'd been stupid. Naive.

Val had been good to him, at the start. For a long while, Angel was a free man who went where he wanted and did what and who he wanted. And who he wanted was Val. He ate up the gifts; the clothes, the free meals, the sex- he was peppered with kisses and pet names and promises and in return when Val was mean, Angel told himself that was the shit he was into anyway. Even if he wasn't really into how Val did it.

And he wasn't mean outside of bed, anyway- Angel would never let that happen to him. He watched, tucked under Val's wing as he was cruel and ruthless to waitstaff, employees, dancers, bartenders. Didn't matter. That would never be him. He was Angel Baby, his star, Amorcito. He was special.

Stupid. Naive. And humble, as ever.

Anthony never got to be a star. But Angel was. His face was everywhere. His legs and ass were in even more places.

Just like Clara, he thought to himself with satisfaction when he looked in the mirror before a shoot, giving himself bedroom eyes and admiring himself.

Just like Clara? He thought to himself with a bitter pit in his stomach when he looked in a mirror after Val manhandled him. kissed him so hard it hurt. Talked over him. Didn't listen when he asked for a pause, a moment to catch his breath.

Breaks were not in the budget, on or off set.

Angel Dust was a star. But Anthony was curled up in bed, the only one who ever loved him right snuffling at his tear stained cheeks. He drew Fat Nuggets in tighter to his chest, letting him nuzzle his neck and snort sweetly.

[powderblueblood]

Is there ever a time where Nicole, Cass, Heather,or even Carol start missing Lacy????

Like maybe they miss there old friend????

(and i’m gonna fold your other anon in here as well my love) but god have i been waiting to talk about this one.

because if we’re going to talk about girlhood, we’re going to talk about grief.

because for all the vaudeville of her high school persona, all that borrowed high wire performance where she pretended to be just the right girl with all the right moves, lacy was just that. lacy was a girl, and nicole was a girl, and cass, and heather, and tina, and god, carol. carol was a girl.

carol might miss lacy the worst of all.

grief finds carol at the perfume counter of the department store, pouring over crystalline glass and her red hair smelling of candied roses. she catches a whiff of a powdery vanilla with a spicy blowback and her heart pounds.

“you can’t wear an empire waist to junior prom, care. you know what the headline on that will be? shotgun wedding.”

“hm. maybe the sooner i lock it down with tommy, the better.”

carol had watched as lacy’s fist tightened around skirts of chiffon, eyes flashing.

“you’re not seriously threatening to beaver trap him?”

“no… but. you know. it has to happen. it’s what’s supposed to happen. right? mrs hagan, three kids, two dogs, white picket.”

carol swayed in her dress, a periwinkle blue that washed her out, as lacy hovered in the near background. an apparition in the mirror.

“it doesn’t have to be just that, you know. you don’t… have to want that.”

because lacy had been the one to hear carol cry when tommy cheated on her the first time, and the fourth and the fifth. lacy had been the first one to push back when she and tommy got back together, like two leeches latching onto one another, returning to parasitic bliss. told carol she was humiliating herself, the way she kept doing this.

“better to be humiliated with a boyfriend than single with a stick up my ass, lacy.”

“i’m gonna remember you said that the next time he comes crying to you all guilty and hungover and you come crying to me, telling me he did it again.”

she didn’t, though. for whatever reason, lacy never threw that back in her face until she absolutely had to.

of all the prize fighting bitches carol had managed to collect, lacy was her favourite. lacy could go toe to toe with anyone, even nicole on her good days. tina was nothing but drop dead jealous of her and cass regarded her with an admirable intimidation. heather was the one who started the rumor about her having a combination lock on her pussy, but carol just loved her. being with lacy felt like strutting on a knife’s edge; carol couldn’t explain it, but it felt like being somebody. lacy had that aura about her. you felt important just by being in her orbit.

she’d haul carol in when she was being too much of an unrepentant bitch and call it a lesson in class.

“never give them more than they deserve, care. don’t sully yourself by dignifying trash.”

lacy never sunk to anyone’s level—she never sunk, until carol’s fist collided with her face at harrington’s that night. watching her get hauled off by that munson freak, her limbs thrashing toward her, desperate to retaliate, carol’s stomach roiled with two distinct kinds of shame—one, at the humiliation lacy’s betrayal had put upon her, what with her running her mouth about tina and tommy and crabs and all. and two, carol’s betrayal of lacy.

because she never did sink, not with anything that was going on. and carol never thought to check on how hard she was working to keep water out of the boat. lacy would have done it for her. whether she wanted to or not. it’s just what you do.

she should have held lacy’s hand and cradled her head and let her crash at her place when her old man got scary. it’s just what you do.

carol would catch glimpses of lacy snaking throughout the hallways these days, in her darkened outfits and berried lips, sharing some blast of static with that piece of long-haired forest hills trailer trash. looking like someone had switched on a light inside her, despite it all. carol would angrily tut, the only thing filling the deadened air between her and tommy.

grief chokes carol up at the perfume counter of the department store and she realises that she misses having a girl who makes her feel like somebody tell her what not to wear.

[patrick47]

The Journey's End 1: Winchester Cathedral

[In the nave of Winchester Cathedral. A man stands at a mirror, allowing the viewer to study and admire the vaulting of the ceiling without cracking a vertebra in one’s upper neck. Photo is mine.] Winchester Cathedral You’re bringing me down You stood and you watched as My baby left town. ~~New Vaudeville Band It was the mid-afternoon on Monday, October 14, that we stood in the drizzle, at…

[lumiereswig]

Next movie recommendation: "The Wizard of Oz."

The castle is dead and dark in the middle of the night, even Lumiere and Plumette long gone to bed, but Cogsworth cannot sleep.

He patters downstairs, his brown slippers dragging down low at the heel, the dark windows staring at him as he slips from hall to hall to hall. Each long mirror feels like an eye: he seems himself resting in the center, a small and moving pupil, walking into the gaze and out of it. His brown robe is knotted tight around him. He descends into the palace, each step darker than the last, losing the moon as he goes deeper inside.

The fight with Lumiere is still plaguing on his mind. He hasn’t felt right, since the curse. He still feels himself ticking away, and he’s infuriated by the idea that now that everything is normal again, he should just let time move on, not say, wait, hold on, there were ten years of grief and sadness there. Lumiere is dancing and laughing and it drives him mad, to see him human again, to remember all those years waiting stuck in metal and brass, to think that all the color has come rushing back when he just feels old, and old, and old. This palace doesn’t belong to him anymore. Lumiere doesn’t belong to him anymore. The curse is broken, and everything is new—too new for an old man, who always wanted everything to stay the same; who always wanted to keep to a certain beat, never too strange, never too colorful.

There is a small den, in the lower South wing, that no one really frequents much, beyond Lumiere in one of his recumbent moods. (Wild man, maniac, too colorful to be endured, thinks Cogsworth, soaked in the dark of the palace.) There’s a small white screen of canvas, here, and an odd contraption Lumiere calls a cinématographe. There’s a stack of old tapes, little ratty boxes, stacked high next to the machine. Cogsworth’s eyes take in titles: Rebecca, The Lady Vanishes, The 39 Steps.

He isn’t ready for those kind of movies tonight. He picks up an old favorite, The Wizard of Oz, and puts it in.

Nobody knows he watches this.

But he knows every beat, every refrain. Watching Dorothy run down the road, brown and grey and windblown, he thinks I know that feeling. That feeling of having to run away and toward every single problem that comes his way. You try to escape and you run into your problems anew, just in different forms: a witch is a witch, a fool a fool. The three farmhands go tumbling and Cogsworth shakes his head.

It isn’t fair an old dusty movie, brown and grey for its first ten minutes, should have so much meaning in it. For god’s sake, he thinks, as Dorothy touches down in Wonderland and has Munchkins coming out of every corner, you can practically see the glitter being dusted down on those children before they’re shoved out in front of camera. It’s all just Hollywood glitz and glitter. A little vaudeville shenanigans and some aging jokesters; this thing is a relic.

Cogsworth, tucked tight in his brown bathrobe, holding the popcorn he heated up in the dusty brown corner microwave, feels a bit like a relic.

But to laugh at how old the movie is to forget how enchanting Oz remains, despite of it all—no, because of it all. It is a joy to watch the Scarecrow’s dancing, old-school soft-shoe nonsense, and the gags that wore out before Lincoln was born, and to melt before Dorothy as she trembles and stumbles and remains oh, so brave—well, to laugh at the old would be to laugh at the joy, and Cogsworth will not have that. He will not give up on something he loves.

So he eats his popcorn, and mumbles along with the songs (“…if I only had a heart…”), and tells himself he isn’t tearing up when Dorothy breaks down, I’m frightened, Auntie Em, I’m frightened, and Auntie Em doesn’t hear her through the glass. An old man has no right to still feel so childish, so sad, so frightened. An old movie sits with him, in the dark, and glows ruby red and cornfield yellow and a green more green than emeralds.  

I want to go home.

This is a movie all about home, though we spend precious little time in the version Dorothy speaks of. She speaks of it, often, and her voice is never far from the cry I want to go back home—but vivid under that sincere wish to run back to dust, and brown, and the old broken things that were loved so much, is a clear and obvious counterpoint: Dorothy is already home. She’s home the second she finds her friends again, never mind their enchanted forms, never mind they don’t look quite the same or remember her exactly. Dorothy makes a home in Oz without even realizing it, because home doesn’t have a shred to do with the old brown chicken coop or the broken iron bed—the home she wants to go back to, the home she already has, is the one she made with her friends, those weird and wild characters, who love her as she is, whether in dusty brown or glorious Technicolor. Home was waiting for her all along, and though Glinda thinks it’s the shoes that take her there, he can’t help feeling it’s her feet—her feet that carry her out of one home into another, into one bright and honest and oh, I think I’ll miss you most of all.  

“I missed you most of all,” says Lumiere, over his shoulder, and Cogsworth would be furious if he wasn’t reaching up to hold his hand.

"You know I missed you most of all," says Lumiere, sliding over the couch and into his lap, "you know that didn't change when we were back to our old selves, didn't you?"

"I thought..." I don't know what I thought, thinks Cogsworth. "I thought maybe the ten years didn't matter. All the things we...we thought in those ten years. That maybe...maybe now that we're human again, we can't..can't feel the things we...."

"You are an old fool," says Lumiere, kissing him softly on the head.

"I guess some things never change," Cogsworth chuckles, and Dorothy is home again, home again free.

[crtter]

Hello, you've piqued my interest. Can we hear about Iyami's themes?

Oh man!!! I could talk about him all day! OK so! I’ll try to talk about some of the things that make his characterization so interesting to me! This is probably going to be long and all over the place so I’m going to put it under a readmore.

Iyami’s name means gaudy, disagreeable and he sure is both of these things! Fujio Akatsuka reportedly based him as a character in two sources: Tony Tani, a Japanese vaudevillian who dressed in a very flashy way, spoke in a mock-fancy way and loved dropping random words in English in his speech and… in Charlie Chaplin’s Tramp character! (A character who was also based on vaudeville performers. Iyami’s an entertainer through and through!)

Such a combination made Iyami a very contradictory character. He’s a fashion victim, extremely vain and overdressed in most occasions, liking to follow European fashion to a T. He speaks how he assumes is how rich, sophisticated people speak, and he even goes by his own personal pronoun: the English word me (the French word moi in the English translations of Osomatsu-kun / Osomatsu-san.)

He’s also usually living in poverty, having to resort to tricks and scams to survive. Osomatsu-kun ran according to a “Looney Tunes continuity, which is to say, the characters stay the same but the setting and their relations might change. In the vast majority of stories, though, he’s shown as a not-very-successful con man.

In the story we’re first properly introduced to him he’s an old college friend of the sextuplets’ dad, Matsuzō, and he overstays his welcome something fierce in their house, being completely clueless to the fact everyone wants him to leave. This aspect of his personality has remained consistent throughout all of his characterizations: Iyami is a character who’s awfully oblivious of and doesn’t think much of disregarding Japanese societal norms. As a result, most consider Iyami absolutely unpleasant to be around. Usually, his only friend is Chibita, a street kid he has no blood relation to who he basically raises on his own (although he doesn’t consider himself his father.) One can argue their relationship mirrors the Tramp’s relationship with the kid from the eponymous Charlie Chaplin’s film The Kid.

This very extreme duality aspect of Iyami is seen in other ways sometimes: he seems to be extremely self-assured and self-absorbed but some stories suggest he’s actually deeply self-conscious, usually about his poverty and appearance (which seems to mostly revolve around his overbite). Whenever he has a chance to fully reinvent himself, he usually lunges for it. Despite his unpleasantness as well, he’s also very charismatic, being able to charm just about anyone into complying with his tricks. His overconfidence usually ruins everything before he has a chance to make a run for it with the money, though. And -the duality aspect of his that caught my attention the most- despite the harsh life he lives, Iyami is always upbeat and full of hope for the future.

Here’s some “self-portraits” Iyami drew of himself once. As you can see, this guy looks nothing like him.

This charisma of his made it to the real world. Iyami’s famous pose and catchphrase, the sheeh, became a real life “meme” in the 60s which was repeated everywhere in Japan. Godzilla himself struck it in one of the movies and the Beatles were convinced to strike it when visiting Japan!

Iyami also became a breakout character in the Osomatsu-kun manga, overshadowing the main characters. Osomatsu-san, the 2015 reboot of Osomatsu-kun runs with it, making Iyami yearn for his meta fame of yesteryear and try as much as he can to “become the main character again”, which won’t happen because he’s awfully antiquated by current anime character standards.

Another thing that’s extremely interesting about Iyami in my opinion, which is also his claim to fame besides the sheeh is what I dub “the France thing”. Iyami insists he “is just returning from France” as a way to brag or protest whichever way he’s being currently treated. He repeats this so much it’s an incredibly well-known catchphrase of his, and the way he refers to France (in an inappropriately respectful way, by adding the honorific ō in front of the word) and was previously completely unheard of, is now super well known and used as a joke to this day in Japan.

While it would make sense for Iyami to just randomly claim he’s been to somewhere far away and “exotic” to sound fancy, some stories have suggested that… it’s not quite just that. It seems to be a real coping mechanism for him. Whether it’s for the hardships of his life or something else is unclear. He seems to have truly convinced himself he has been to a highly idealized France and it’s the place where he truly belongs. He even writes Japanese characters in mock cursive and tries to eat using chopsticks as western cutlery.

There’s even a story in which his lies about France are contested by a character who has actually been there and he gets so distraught he starts speaking without his “accent” for the first and only time in the entire 30-odd year run of the manga.

One could argue his fixation on “going to France” is what keeps his optimistic and going through life despite everything. There’s nothing really supporting that, but I personally believe that, at least part of him thinks it’s a place where he’d be more accepted. Where his natural flamboyance wouldn’t be seen as unpleasant and disruptive but celebrated instead. But of course, this one’s just me, heh.

[mthguy]

Judy Garland and Mickey Rooney perform “Good Morning” in the MGM film Babes in Arms (1939)

Mickey Rooney and Judy Garland proved to be a dynamic duo on screen, appearing together in such films as Love Finds Andy Hardy (1938) and Babes on Broadway (1941). The pair had an amazing connection, perhaps helped by the fact that they had a lot in common off-screen. They both came from theatrical families. Garland, born Frances Ethel Gumm, made her stage debut as a toddler in her older sisters' act; and Rooney, born Joseph Yule, Jr., had a vaudeville performer for a father and a showgirl for a mother.

Both had parents who pushed them into show business. Rooney moved to California with his mother in the mid-1920s to launch his career, and she even changed his name to give it more Hollywood appeal. Garland grew up performing with her sisters before landing a film contract when she was only 13 years old. MGM Studios boss Louis B. Meyer reportedly hired Garland without having her do a screen test. She, too, went through a name transformation to make her more marketable. From an early age, Rooney and Garland both knew all too well the ups and downs of the entertainment business.

Rooney may have only been a year or so older than Garland, but he had much more film experience when they started working together. He made his film debut in the 1926 short, Not to Be Trusted. From there, Rooney starred in a series of shorts based on the comic strip character Mickey McGuire.

Garland and Rooney first met in 1935, when Rooney was a rising star and Garland was just starting out, but it took a few years for the studio realize that Garland and Rooney would be a winning combination.

Garland made her first feature film appearance in the 1936 sports comedy, Pigskin Parade. Garland and Rooney made their joint appearance in the 1937 film Thoroughbreds Don't Cry. Garland later credited Rooney with giving her some of the best acting advice of her career while making this film. He told the talented young performer to perform her lines "like you're singing it."

Rooney had already made four popular films in the Andy Hardy series before he was joined on screen by Garland. Starting with 1937's A Family Affair, the series explored the lives of Judge James K. Hardy and his family. Rooney played his teenaged son Andy, and this friendly character who seemed to represent an all-American image quickly won over audiences.

Garland first appeared in 1938's Love Finds Andy Hardy as Andy's friend Betsy. Early in her career, she was marketed as a girl-next-door type. The two characters' relationship mirrored the actors' off-screen connection as well. Garland, just like Betsy, had a romantic interest in Rooney at the start, but Rooney, similar to Andy, was too busy pursuing other girls to notice her. He was involved with a number of other actresses, including Norma Shearer, who was 20 years his senior.

Garland's career soon started to take off. When Rooney and Garland appeared in 1939's Babes in Arms, the pair shared top billing. The musical, directed by the legendary Busby Berkeley, proved to be a huge hit. Rooney and Garland seemed to play off each other in a way that made their performances better, and moviegoers found them to be a compelling and magical pair to watch.

Babes in Arms is a film version of the 1937 coming-of-age Broadway musical of the same title. Directed by Busby Berkeley, in addition to Rooney and Garland, it featured Charles Winninger, Guy Kibbee, June Preisser, Grace Hayes, and Betty Jaynes. It was Garland and Rooney's second film together as lead characters after their earlier successful pairing in the fourth of the Andy Hardy films. The film concerns a group of youngsters trying to put on a show to prove their vaudevillian parents wrong and make it to Broadway.

It premiered on October 13, 1939, and became one of the 10 biggest hits of the year. With all the adorable gumption of its young stars, Babes in Arms pays thoroughly entertaining tribute to the magic of show business.

The film was nominated for two Academy Awards: Best Actor in a Leading Role for Mickey Rooney, who was 19 at the time and became the second-youngest Best Actor nominee, and Best Music, Scoring by Roger Edens and Georgie Stoll.

[muncaster]

something so special about the government inspector getting past russian censorship. something so special abt gogol hiding "who are you laughing at? you're laughing at yourself" within a monologue as a line to be directly yelled at the audience, without any explicit stage direction saying that was required. something so special about gogol writing the whole play within a single month, after giving up on earlier plays because of censorship concerns. something so special about him putting "don't blame the mirror if your mug's askew" as the epigraph. something so special about gogol's disappointment after the stage actors treated the play as vaudeville. something so special about his direction of "the more candor and simplicity the actor puts into this role, the more he will gain." something so special abt how these directions were ignored, and afterwards gogol left russia for twelve years. something so special about gogol.